你也去滑雪？---不能爱上你（十六）（2/2）
昨天大谷给她发了一封电邮，邀请她和金学院的几个学生下周末一起去滑雪。林欣还没信，因为她实在是拿不定意。
她是想去的。在大学读书的时候，东北来的男生宋刚总跟她吹在老家滑雪的那些事：“我就从高坡上冲下来，就听着那风啊在耳边嗖啊嗖地，跟飞似的，那叫一个痛快呀！”听得林欣羡慕不已。她曾经担心像自己这样体育很差的人是不是学不会滑雪，那宋刚打保票说：“滑雪有什么难的！你就是头牛都能学会！” 她想象着有朝一日自己穿着鲜红的滑雪衫，从高坡上滑下来那一定很神气！一定很浪漫
可是听安妮说，她上次去滑雪光是租滑雪的那一套东西和门票就花了快一万日元，还不算交通费、住宿费和吃饭的钱。自己哪有那么多钱呢？这几个月打工多少也存了些钱，可是万一病了怎么办？万一明年考不上大学院怎么办？万一就算考上了，拿不到奖学金要自己交学费怎么办有这么多“万一”，这钱是一分都不应该动的。
听谢婉云那样问她，她心里更是觉得不应当去了。可是又有点不甘心。
课间的时候，斋藤问林欣：“林老师，大谷让我问问你，去不去滑雪？”
林欣顿了顿，才说：“我恐怕去不了”
斋藤好似早料到了她会这么说，很快地把话接了过去:“林老师,我妹妹和你差不多高,你可以用她的滑雪。"
见林欣还在犹豫, 斋藤又说: "你是不是怕摔跤啊？别担心，大谷是北海道人，滑雪是专业水平。他可以教你！我们有十多个人一起去，大家都会保护你的！”
斋藤的一番盛情，让林欣竟然有点鼻子发酸，也说不清是为什么。她垂下睫毛，想了想，又抬眼看看斋藤，实在不忍心就说一个“不”，只得勉强笑了笑说：“谢谢大家。让我再想想吧。”
那天晚上，从カンカル下了工，时间实在太晚了，店长和岛田体贴地用车把她送了家。
精疲力尽地躺在被子里，她却久久睡不着。
也许只有在这样的夜晚，才能真正地体会到什么叫做寂寞与凄惶。那是深彻骨髓的冷。林欣揭开窗帘的一角，让月光透过磨砂玻璃窗照进自己小小的房间。在淡淡的月光下房间里的一切都朦朦胧胧的，看不真切。唯一清晰可见的是她自己心头的两颗泪珠。
她还是决定：不去了。
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